Flexibility
Hi, I'm Mike and I'm a planner.
I like to make a plan. I like to stick to a plan. And I like to see a plan come to completion!
Nowhere in life have I learned more about dealing with plans that go awry than in our blended family journey. Now I just have to plan for plans to change. ;-)
With kids moving back and forth between two families, flexibility is crucial. The coordination of schedules and process of decision making is often doubled for stepfamilies compared to first families.
You've got four (or even more!) parents coordinating with each other trying to help the kids be successful in school, sports, music, art and whatever else they might have interests in. There's often two birthday parties, two Christmas celebrations and two family vacations to schedule.
Managing the daily life of most blended families can be summed up in one word — chaotic. Plans are made and then they change due to some dynamic that's often out of our control and even outside of our own household.
Kids get a front row seat in learning to go with the flow when they grow up in a blended family. Flexibility helps them become better thinkers, responders and problem solvers when something doesn't go as expected.
And it's not just the kids. We get to learn the value of flexibility too which will help us in our partnership, at work, in our social life and just about anywhere else we're around people.
Embrace the Super Strength of Flexibility!
Resilience
I love this definition of resilience: the speedy recovery from problems.
Those of us living in blended families experience lots of problems that other families never have to face. We deal with problems building bonds in step-relationships. We encounter problems co-parenting with our Ex's. We struggle through problems when kids are acting out or isolating because of the losses they’ve experienced.
Sometimes adults in stepfamilies take the "just get over it" approach, which is a discussion for another time.
But step-couples who choose to approach problems with the attitude of "let's get through it", give their blended family the gift of resilience.
Over the years, we've discovered that every time we face a problem and put the effort in to get each member of our family through it rather than over it, we build resilience. Every success and every failure becomes a lesson that prepares us for the next challenge. The more we've faced, the speedier we get at recovery.
Once again…a great life lesson for our kids. They're going to face problems in life. Relational, emotional, social and vocational problems that they'll need to work through. The resilience you're building into them today will keep them on track.
It may be difficult to see at this point in your journey, but every time you move through a problem in your blended family, you're equipping yourself and your kids with the Super Strength of Resilience!
Strength in the Struggle
I've lived my entire life in more than one blended family. I was born into a blended family. My mom passed away when I was young and we formed another blended family when my dad remarried. Fast forward to my marriage day where Kim and I formed our own blended family.
From just about every angle, I personally know the struggles that come with blended family life.
Better yet, I know the awesome benefits of these Super Strengths that can develop out of a beautiful, wonderful, chaotic and crazy blended family life.
QUESTION: What other Super Strengths have you discovered on your blended family journey? Leave a comment below…
Source: https://support.mikeandkimcoaching.com/blog/3-super-strengths-of-your-crazy-blended-family-life
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