During winter break my daughter told me about a show she’d been watching that she loved. It’s called The Fosters and she’d already watched a few episodes and she wanted me to watch it with her.
The Fosters is an award-winning show about a biracial lesbian couple who fosters, then adopts, older kids. The Executive Producer is Jennifer Lopez. One of the moms, Stef, has a biological child of her own, Brandon, from her first marriage with a man named Mike. From what she told me it sounded interesting and I thought, If my daughter wants to watch a show with me, of course, I’m all in.
While she is 13, and my youngest is 12 (he also was very interested in watching), the show is rated Y-14. I watched a few episodes with them after reading mixed reviews– the show is controversial and some felt it wasn’t appropriate for their children, but I was very intrigued after one episode. The show covers it all, sex, drugs, drinking, the foster care system, and relationships–the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable.
The cast of The Fosters (credit: Greg Hernandez)
Five Reasons to Watch The Fosters With Your Teens
1. The show gives you a view through teens’ eyes and allows you to view parenting teens in a new light.
Not only do you see what’s it’s like to be a teenager today (which is why my kids love it), you feel for the moms and what they are going through as they try their best to support their teens while facing complicated issues head on. The show doesn’t tiptoe around the fact that kids may experiment, become depressed, have sex, and may not always make the right decisions.
2. It helped me talk to my teens in a way I never have.
This show was a great conversation opener on topics I’ve already addressed with my teens, and on some I have not, like the morning-after pill. Did they even know what that was? Yes, they already did and they didn’t get their information from me. As their mother, I took some time to educate them after a scene where one of the 15-year-olds in the show paid someone to buy the morning-after pill after having unprotected sex.
Another time we paused for conversation was when the youngest child, Jude, thought he might have a crush on his best male friend. It was the perfect time for me to remind my children that no matter who they have a crush on, or fall in love with, it will always be okay with me and their father. You can never reassure your kids about this enough.
There is something about watching a show that your kids are really into, and being able to take a moment (and I mean a quick moment because they were really into it), to speak their language. It addresses teenage issues in a way that I can’t being their “uncool” mom.
3. It allows you to ask your children questions you may not have thought to ask.
There were many times throughout our binge watching I took a quick second to ask my kids if they knew certain things: how gay couples have sex, how to properly use a condom, that they can say “no” to anyone at any time, even if they’ve already said “yes,” and the importance of listening to the word “no” when others say it to them.
4. The way The Fosters tackles co-parenting is right on.
The show presents the issue in a way that is beneficial to my family. Because I am divorced it was helpful to me, as a parent, to see their situation played out so authentically. Both parents do their best with their son Brandon, they love him and try to agree on how to parent him. They put effort into their relationship for his sake, but it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows; they still argue about how to raise him at times, things from their old relationship still come up, and situations still get heated as Brandon gets caught in the middle.
Through this show, my kids were able to see that their father and I were doing our best. It depicts divorce very realistically showing what goes on when two people love each other because they’ve had kids together yet don’t want to be married to each other any longer.
5. The parents trust their kids and teach them the important stuff.
The parents trust their kids so they parent in a way that allows the kids to solve their problems in a smart way. Above all, they give their kids consequences, they teach them to be kind, they believe in them, and always have their back and support them no matter what.
I had no idea when my daughter insisted we binge watch all 5 seasons in a 12-day period how much closer I would get with my kids. And I really had no idea I’d get addicted to the show. I can honestly say The Fosters helped forge a stronger bond between me and my kids.
It’s a must-watch for sure.
Related:
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Saying “Get Over It” To Your Teens Is Bad Advice
Source: https://grownandflown.com/the-fosters-good-show-teens/
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