How to Find Your Fairy Tale by Living Out Your Commitments

By: Mike Anderson

We've been talking a lot about our differences lately.  Differences are often what make us a great team, but they can also drive a wedge between us.

And when that wedge creates too much conflict or isolation we face an unnoticed threat to our relationship — a major danger zone for our family.

It's the threat of eroding commitments.

Whether you've officially 'tied the knot' or simply signed a lease together — you have made a commitment.  You're building a relationship together and you're influencing each other's kids.

Over time, when things don't go the way you thought they should — and you aren't having as much fun as you first anticipated — you're in that danger zone.  Your focus is likely on your frustrations and the commitments you made begin to slip from your mind.

Silly Parents — Fairy Tales Are For Kids

I recall the old Trix commercials:  "Silly rabbit — Trix are for kids!"  If you're too young to remember those, you can find them on YouTube.

As a kid, I watched that silly rabbit constantly chase a dream he could never reach.  He always ended up disappointed.  Way too often, we're like that rabbit.

We're chasing a dream — a fairy tale — that we can never reach.  And I don't care if you're a girl or a guy…we all want the fairy tale!  We all want that "happily ever after" from the stories, books and movies that have been ingrained in us for decades.

But alas, fairy tales are for kids.  Aren't I just a ray of sunshine today?! :-)

So, here's the good news.  Even though we don't get to live a fairytale life, you and every other step-couple can experience moments of your own "fairy tale" by avoiding that danger zone of eroding commitments.

Here's how:

5 Ways to Stick to Your Commitments

1. Remind yourself of the commitments you've made

We all need reminders.  As the months and years pass, we can't possibly remember every detail of the commitments we've made.  We might remember the general idea, but the details can get a little fuzzy.

Kim and have the vows we spoke to each other in a scrapbook that we look through every year on our anniversary.  We read the words we spoke almost two decades ago and we remember our commitments. 

If you're in a tough season right now, you may need to print out your vows and keep them up on the refrigerator, the bathroom mirror or the dashboard of your car.  Let the reminder be a motivator to keep moving forward.

Or maybe you haven't spoken actual vows yet.  It might be time for you to consider the unspoken commitments you've made.  Write them down and keep focused.

2. Live your commitment — today

When your relationship is struggling and your commitments are eroding, everything seems bigger than it really is.  You blow things out of proportion, you project things onto your partner and you wonder how you'll ever survive for the long haul.

The trick to turning mountains back into molehills is to think small.  Quit worrying about how the next decade is going to turn out and start focusing on today. 

If you're just identifying those unspoken commitments, great!  Now ask yourself how you're going to live that commitment today.  Don't over focus on tomorrow, just choose how you'll live on this day.

And if you're reading those old vows, ask yourself how you can express them today.  A small gift, some heartfelt words or a little quality time might be all you need to do to live your commitment — today.

Source: https://support.mikeandkimcoaching.com/blog/how-to-find-your-fairytale-by-living-out-your-commitments

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